Who wants to be a millionaire?

OUR collective efforts in The Champion office to win the Euromillions haven't been going terribly well so far.

Every week a gang of us journalist types get together in faint hope that we can win the continent's biggest prize draw, and at about half eleven each Friday night we discover we're still nowhere nearer to becoming overnight millionaires. This is a good thing because if I ever came across millions of pounds through a lottery win, I'd have no idea what to do with it.

Asking someone what they'd do with £40 million is pointless because it's such an inconceivably vast amount of money for a single person to spend (although Elton John might spend it on flowers), but given our reports last week that there's an unclaimed ticket somewhere in West Lancashire, it's a question someone's probably about to answer. Naturally, they'll need a car or two.

Fellow Champ columnist Jim Sharpe reckoned he'd buy a Bristol if his numbers came up, but unless you fancy blowing £140,000 on something that looks like a slightly melted Ford Capri I'd steer clear. Nor should you spend your millions on any of the old classics I reccomended last year in this column, because you'll end up with hundreds of the things and not one of them will work properly.

Forget any Ferrari, Porsche, Bentley or large Mercedes because it'll make you look like a footballer, running you the risk of appearing in Heat magazine by mistake.

Aston Martins are out of the running these days too; production has been ramped up so much it seems you're as likely to spot one as a Ford Focus in a traffic jam. And Rolls Phantoms are a bit too Alan Sugar.

Nor can you go for anything from the other side of the Atlantic either, because while the Cadillac Escalades and GMC Yukons are perfect for rap videos, they're just too big for Britain's roads. Same goes for the Corvette and Viper.

If it were my money I'd make a beeline straight to Blackpool and TVR, in the hope of having a hugely pretty but slightly bonkers sports car built just for me. Or at least I would if the factory hadn't shut down several years ago. In fact, I'd go for all of these:

1) TVR Griffith - A modern day E-Type, wonderful in every way
2) Aston Martin One-77 - The first extreme Aston for at least a decade
3) Ferrari 458 Italia - Because a Ferrari has to be beautiful
4) Ferrari F40 - See above
5) Jaguar XJ220 - Stunning but criminally underrated twenty years on
6) TVR Cerbera 4.5 (pictured) - Another TVR but wonderful in a weird and wacky way
7) Range Rover Vogue - But only in retro British Leyland shades, please
8) Audi Sport Quattro - Scary
9) Aston Martin Cygnet - Because a £50,000 Toyota IQ makes sense when you're a millionaire
10) Lotus Evora - A masterclass in minimalism

The problem with most millionaire motors is they make you look like a prat when you're driving them, particularly in these troubled times, so in a small way, I'm glad I'm unlikely to face the daunting prospect of buying one.

It could be you, though...

In true Life On Cars tradition, feel free to suggest your own top tens as comments.