The new Ford Focus RS might not win any beauty contests, but I still want one

FORD’S new Focus RS will use a four-wheel-drive system to deliver its power more effectively – exactly the same trick the legendary Escort RS Cosworth did back in the early 1990s.

The third generation of the family-sized hot hatch will use a turbcharged 2.3 litre version of the company’s EcoBoost engine to churn out 320bhp, and should be available towards the end of the year. The shape might not win as many beauty awards as its more conventional-looking predecessor, but it's designed with one thing in mind; to keep the engine, closely related to the one also being used in the new Ford Mustang, as cool as possible during hard driving.

It’s the 30^th Ford to wear the company’s RS badge, following in the footsteps of the Sierra RS Cosworth and the Escort RS2000. Just like these classic fast Fords, the new Focus RS has an instant want-one factor.

Volkswagen launches its diesel hot hatch... as an estate

VOLKSWAGEN’S Golf GTD – essentially a diesel-powered version of the GTI hot hatchback – is being sold as an estate for the first time.

Yes, on the face of it it's not exactly the raciest of prospects - a diesel estate car - but it does combine two ideas I've already expressed an admiration for; the idea of a diesel-hauled Golf GTI, and the performance load-lugger. It looks great too, so hopefully it'll be as much fun to drive as its eco-mentalist moniker suggests.

Prices have yet to be announced, but expect it to be slightly more than the £25,285 the smaller Golf GTD hatchback costs.

It’ll be available to order from April, with the first cars arriving here in June.

Volkswagen Golf R: Now available in handy estate form!

VOLKSWAGEN needs to get a move on. The coolest car it’s announced in years won’t be going on sale here until next summer, but I get the feeling it’ll be hot stuff in Lapland almost immediately.

There are no prizes for guessing what the Golf R Estate is – it is, put simply, the fastest hot hatch Volkswagen currently offers, with the added bonus of 605 litres of luggage space. Drop the back seats and that more than doubles, meaning you can cart a couple of cupboards home and still get to 60mph in a shade over five seconds.

Anyone who’s familiar with the Audi RS2, the Skoda Octavia RS Estate or the Volvo 850 T5 will know where I’m going with this one; hotted-up estate cars are MUCH cooler than hot hatchbacks. It’s something to do with an entire genre of car associated with antique dealers and Sunday afternoon schleps to B&Q being able to embarrass hot hatches and – as much as I hate to admit it – small sports cars at the lights.

Fast estates are cool because the boys in blue love ‘em too. One of my earliest and most exciting outings was sitting alongside a traffic officer as he reeled in speeding motorists on the roads of North Wales, and he needed something both quick enough to administer a bloody nose to a Golf GTi and capacious enough to carry a set of traffic cones in the back. His weapon of choice was pretty standard issue to most forces at the time. A Skoda Octavia RS Estate, of course.

If you appreciate bonkers-fast estates, you’ll understand why the prospect of a Golf R Estate is far more enticing than the 300bhp hatchback it’s based on, but I also get the feeling its talents would be perfect for a bloke I know who lives up North.

He works in the delivery business and has a big job coming up next month – a job that requires dropping off a heck of a lot of stuff in a single night. Every single year he insists on doing it the old-fashioned way, but the combination of the new arrival’s grand total of 1,606 litres of loadspace, the sure-footedness of the permanent all-wheel-drive system and the 300bhp shove of the 2.0 litre turbo engine would make it perfect for his line of work.

Make no mistake, I reckon my mate Nick would do well to get a Golf R Estate in his garage.

Fire up the.... Suzuki Swift Sport (again)

THE Suzuki Swift Sport isn't perfect and it's a car of few superlatives, but it is brilliant.

That’s exactly the verdict I reached two years ago when I last drove the Japanese firm’s addictively entertaining junior hot hatch, and just about the only thing I could find to mark it down on was that it lost a little of the Mk1 version’s edge by becoming a little better in just about every other area. It was – and still is – a superb little streetfighter of a car which punches well above its weight.

Why then, the need to test it again?

Put simply, Suzuki has opened doors to anyone previously put off by the sprightliest of the Swifts. In true pocket rocket tradition, the Swift Sport has until very recently only been available as a three-door hatchback, a configuration which benefits its aggressive stance and suits the model’s youthful target market perfectly, but it means plenty of keener drivers with families to look after have had to look elsewhere. That’s why it’s great to see Suzuki finally offering the Sport with the full five-strong compliment of doors, as you can get throughout the rest of the Swift range.

Happily, the £500 translation from three-door to five-door hasn’t affected the aesthetics – true, a five-door is never going to look as single-mindedly sporty, but you still get the deep double grille at the front, a cheeky spoiler, a twin helping of exhausts at the back, and some added practicality in the middle.

Anyone looking for a polished all-round supermini isn’t going to find the Swift perfect –with the best will in the world, it’s starting to show its age – but keen drivers will forgive it because of the consistently smile-inducing way it craves corners and the revvy demeanour of its 1.6 litre, 136bhp engine.

There’s a wonderfully old-school charm to its handling and the whole car begs you to take it by the scruff of its neck and make the most of its petite dimensions. It is, to all extents and purposes, a sort of Greatest Hits compilation of all the best characteristics of the classic hot hatches of the 1980s, and all the more loveable for it.

It’s just that, with a £14,499 price tag, five doors and a very 2014 helping of safety clobber, it’s vaguely sensible too.

This 4C-engined Alfa Romeo Giulietta might not be the fastest hot hatch, but it is the coolest

A NEW hatchback which shares the same heart as Alfa Romeo’s 4C sports car will go on sale later this summer.

The Quadrifoglio Verde – or Cloverleaf, roughly translated into English – version of the Giulietta shares the same 240bhp engine as the mid-engined sports car tested last week by Life On Cars, but offers it in a more practical, five-door hatchback package.

The Italian manufacturer said of its latest hot hatch: "Under the bonnet lies a thoroughbred Alfa Romeo power-plant: The all-aluminium engine first seen in the Alfa Romeo 4C supercar. The four-cylinder, direct-injection, 1750 Turbo Petrol engine delivers 240hp at 5,750rpm and 250lb/ft (340Nm) of torque between 2,000 and 4,000rpm with 80 percent available from just 1,800rpm.

"In addition to the 1750 Turbo Petrol engine, the state-of-the-art, six-speed ALFA TCT twin dry clutch transmission has also been inherited from the Alfa Romeo 4C supercar. While the adoption of ALFA TCT as standard ensures more comfortable and relaxing day-to-day use, it also translates into a more exciting drive when the mood takes the drive."

While it's not the fastest hot hatch on the market or the most powerful - the new SEAT Leon Cupra offers up a pulverising 280bhp, while Volkswagen's Golf R closes in on 300bhp - the prospect of an charismatic Italian hatchback with an engine developed with a mid-engined supercar in miniature in mind does have a certain cool factor from the off.

The fastest Giulietta yet will cost £28,120 when it goes on sale across the UK next month.

Ford adds even more luxury to its fastest Fiesta

FORD has fitted even more luxuries to its fastest Fiesta to create a new range-topping version of the hot hatch.

The new version of the Fiesta ST, called the ST-3, throws toys including cruise control, a keyless entry system and rain-sensitive windscreens to the car, and costs £19,250.

For more information on the ST and the rest of the Fiesta range head to www.ford.co.uk

300bhp in a Volkswagen Golf!

VOLKSWAGEN has announced prices for the most powerful production Golf ever this week.

 Prices for the range-topping Golf R, which offers up no less than 300bhp in the familiar hatchback package, start at £29,900 for the three-door version, and £30,555 for the five-door model.

While VW is keen to point out that the new R is a little lighter - all of 46kg - and more economical than its predecessor, the good news for keen drivers is that it rides lower and punches harder than the current Golf GTi, and allows anyone keen on their track days to fully disengage the hot hatch's armada of electronic stability systems.

While the top speed is limited to 155mph, the run to sixty depends entirely on which of the two gearboxes you go for - in the old fashioned manual, it's 5.3 seconds, but you can shave a further four tenths off if you go for the double-clutch DSG system.

To find out more about the new model, which uses an uprated version of the GTI’s engine and a Haldex four wheel drive system, go online to www.volkswagen.co.uk

Prepare to fire up the... Kia pro_cee'd GT

FAST, frantic, furious and just a little bit front wheel drive. There are certain qualities you need if you’re looking a bit of hot hatch heaven.

Regular readers will already know I’m a big fan of family hatches made fruitier through revvier engines, bigger suspension and sportier suspension, and while there have been a couple of rear-drive and four-wheel-drive deviations it is by and large a recipe for motoring fun that’s worked a treat for more than 40 years. In fact, more than 50 years if you count the original Mini Cooper – which was only ever a two-door saloon, of course – as the one that started it all.

Now the Koreans are having a crack with – unless any automotive anoraks out there can suggest otherwise – the country’s first fully-fledged hot hatch, the Kia pro_cee’d GT. The outward signs are that it’ll have the firepower to take on the establishment, thanks to a trick taken straight from chapter one, verse one of The Hot Hatch Bible; strap a ruddy great turbocharger onto your engine of choice, in this case Kia’s 1.6 ‘Gamma’ petrol lump. The end result is 201bhp and – if we’re being really petrolhead about it – a power to weight ratio of 157bhp per tonne.

It’s also got a seven year warranty and a keen starting price - £19,995 – in its favour but what really gets it for me is the way it looks. Kia’s head honcho of styling these days can count the original Audi TT among the achievements on his CV, and while I’m not going to pretend the pro_ceed’s shape is quite THAT swoopy, it’s not one that’s going to give your children nightmares either.

I can’t wait to get a go, and I’ll let you know whether it’s on the ball dynamically as soon as I do. Would you opt for a Kia hot hatch as your motoring weapon of choice in your next battle at the lights?

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Renaultsport and Red Bull join forces for F1-inspired Megane

The latest version of Renault’s Megane will give you wings, if its F1-inspired name is anything to go by.

Renault said it had teamed up with energy drink giants Red Bull to create a new version of its hot hatch with the name of the F1 team on its rump, of which just 30 will be shipped into Britain. The Mégane Renaultsport Red Bull Racing RB8, to give it its full name, will cost Sebastian Vettel fans £28,245.

The French firm said: "The Mégane Renaultsport is already hailed by many as the ultimate hot hatch, so the arrival of a new Formula One inspired and Red Bull Racing-branded limited edition is set to ensure it flies even more than the standard model.

"Renault and Red Bull Racing this year celebrated their third Formula 1 Constructors’ world title and the new Mégane looks another sure-fire winner."

The Red Bull Megane isn’t the first time Renault has introduced an F1-branded hot hatch into the UK, with the Clio Williams proving to be a hit with keen drivers back in 1993.

Škoda's go-faster Octavia ready for August launch

PRICES for a family-friendly slingshot from Škoda will start at just under £23,000 when it goes on sale next month.

The company’s performance twist on the latest Octavia, the RS, is available with either a 220bhp petrol engine or a 184bhp turbodiesel, which is packed into either the sleek hatchback or the load-lugging estate.

Alasdair Stewart, the company’s UK brand director, said: "The new Octavia vRS has a very special place in the heart of everyone at Škoda.

"It unites our love of motorsport, sharp design and bold engineering, and is one of the most exciting cars we’ve ever made."

The cheapest version, the petrol estate, starts at £22,990, with the entire Octavia RS range going on sale on August 1.

Why the VW Up GT could be the perfect car for West Lancashire

GREAT news if you’re a petrolhead in Parbold. VW could be about to launch the perfect set of wheels for West Lancashire.

I worked this out the other day when I was buzzing down the country lanes the other day, in a bottom-of-the-range Volkswagen Up. The cheapest car Europe’s biggest car company makes – if you discount its cheaper but otherwise identical cousins, the Skoda Citigo and the SEAT Mii – is one I’ve just spent the best part of 2,000 miles with. It’s a flawed gem of a car because it comes with as many drawbacks as it does delights – but that’s why I’m convinced this tiny city tot is perfect if you’re darting around the outskirts of Ormskirk.

Its 1.0 litre, triple-cylinder engine is perfect, for instance, for dealing with the rash of 20mph speed limits recently imposed across much of the borough, but it’s very hard work on the motorway. When you put your foot down, the sixty horses beneath the bonnet don’t rampage to the rescue – they call a meeting, to discuss at length how best to deal with the unexpected demand for some oomph. Eventually, long after the overtaking opportunity’s gone, they reluctantly deal you some speed.

The Up’s also hampered by a tiny boot, but by far its most annoying feature is the lack of fuel range. It’s superbly good at sipping the unleaded rather than downing it like a student at a freshers party, but because it’ll only take £45’s worth you’re forever stopping to fill it up on longer trips. These however, are minor moans about a motor I’ve really grown fond of. I love the faintly Porsche-esque throb the three cylinder motor makes – at least it sounds fast – and that it offers handling, rather than grip, through the bends. It’s also cheap to buy and run, pleasing to behold and far better trimmed on the inside than its Citroen, Peugeot and Fiat rivals.

Its petite proportions mean it’s perfectly sized for the narrow lanes which cris-cross West Lancashire, the suspension’s smooth enough to iron out the bits the county council haven’t got around to mending yet, and the handling means you can tackle the many corners with confidence. In fact, all it needs is a bit more power, to deal with the climb over Parbold Hill.

Luckily, VW has realised this and is getting ready to release the Up GT, the 109bhp hot hatch version, any day now. If they sort out it out with a bigger fuel tank, it really could be the perfect car for West Lancashire’s roads.

Can’t wait to find out.

VW Golf GTD - a Genuinely Tantalising Diesel?

IF you’re the sort of driver who wants hot hatch thrills without the annoyingly frequent stops to fill up then this new Golf could be a great contender for your cash.

VW are wryly saying the GTD badge on this latest version stands for Genuinely Tantalising Diesel and it’s easy to see where they’re coming from, because this £25,285 model offers up the same sort of punch and poise as its petrol-fuelled GTI cousin, but with an extra helping of economy thanks to it using a 2.0 litre turbodiesel engine.

Admittedly it’s not as fast as a Golf GTI – the dash from 0 to 60mph takes a second longer and the top speed is 142mph to the GTI’s 153mph – but you get more torque for when you’re overtaking, and more miles for your gallon when you’re not. Go-faster family hatches which fill up at the black pumps aren't exactly a new idea either - VW's sister brand Skoda, in particular, has carved itself a bit of niche when its Fabia vRS intially came along as an exclusively diesel-propelled pocket rocket.

With petrol prices forever threatening to surge past £1.40 a litre the torquey thump you get with diesels is becoming ever more tempting. Sure, you won't get the soundtrack or the rev-happy playfulness of the GTI, but you get mid-range wallop and the smugness of knowing you're winning on the economy front.

The Golf GTD, which commands a £310 premium over its predecessor, arrives in the UK later this year but is available to order now. Go to VW’s website at www.volkswagen.co.uk if you’re a grown-up boy racer frustrated by spiralling fuel prices.

Double delight for Golf GTI fans

TO HOT hatch enthusiasts, playing Golf without the iconic GTI badge is a bit like enjoying fish without chips.

The seventh generation of the go-faster Volkswagen is being unveiled at this month's Geneva Motor Show, with plans to bring it to the company's British showrooms in June.

Keen drivers will be able to pick up two versions of the Golf GTI - the standard car, which has 217bhp, and the GTI Performance, which has an extra ten horses beneath the bonnet, along with bigger brakes and a limited slip diff helping to keep the front wheels under control. In the case of the Performance version, the GTI will be able to shoot to sixty miles an hour in 6.4 seconds and then onto a top speed of 155mph.

The order books for the new Golf GTI open at VW showrooms across the UK on March 26, with the exact prices and specifications set to be announced closed to the car's June launch.

Fire up the... Volkswagen Golf GTI Cabriolet

PERHAPS it's a case of saving the best for last. Across the country fans of all things Volkswagen are being asked to give the new Golf a go, but in doing so they're missing out on the outgoing model's finest moments.

The sixth generation of Germany's bestseller wasn't exactly left wanting for kudos but that hasn't stopped the company from making sure it goes out with a bang rather than a whimper in the shadow of the slightly longer, roomier and sturdier new model. The Golf GTI Cabriolet covers two bits of automotive territory VW's awfully good at; the hot hatch, which it's been doing since the original Golf GTI of 1977, and the solidly-built ragtop beloved of middle class families everywhere.

Step aboard and it's business as usual for Golf lovers; detractors might call the interior dull, but Veedub fans will be delighted by the seemingly unbreakable build quality and the nice visual flourishes you get with the tartan seats and the subtle red stitching. It's also definitely a ragtop in the traditional sense- no folding metal roof here, sorry - but that's no bad thing because it a) keeps the boot free for things such as luggage and b) keeps the weight down, which means the performance familiar to fans of the GTI hatchback is still there in abundance.

All of which means you can enjoy this car's best feature - its engine, which thanks to having two litres and a turbo to call upon can muster up 208bhp. It's a fabulous bit of hardware which not makes this open-top Golf fast enough to wear the fabled GTI badge with pride but is smooth, rev-happy and happy to play along with enthusiastic driving.

But you can get this engine in the hatchback, which offers more practicality and ever so slightly sweeter handling for £3,000 less than this cabrio's £30k pricetag. Look at this car as an open-top hot hatch and you're missing the point, because it'll almost certainly seem too expensive. See it as a classy, go-faster cabrio that neatly fills the gap left by Saab's 9-3, however, and it's a very tempting prospect indeed.

Now all we need is some proper summer weather to enjoy it...

New Renaultsport Clio promises hot hatch thrills

THROTTLE-happy hedonists will be delighted to learn that a new Renaultsport Clio has just been announced.

Closely based on the all new Clio range announced by Renault earlier this year, the new hot hatch swaps the old car's 2.0 litre engine for a 1.6 turbo unit, and while power remains roughly the same at 200bhp it's torquier and kinder to the environment than its predecessor.

Renaultsport MD Patrice Ratti had this to say about the new arrival: "New Clio Renaultsport 200 Turbo proclaims loud and clear the values of Renault Sport: beautiful and fast, it has everything that’s needed to make it the benchmark car in the high-performance sports hatchback class – just like its predecessors.

"The introduction of a very high performance turbocharged engine, with plenty of torque at low revs and coupled to the EDC dual clutch transmission (Efficient Double Clutch) developed by Renault Sport engineers, results in a car that raises the performance driving experience to a new level. The expertise of Renault Sport Technologies is reinforced by long-term programmes in the most demanding types of motorsport, including racing and rallying.

"It is this experience which makes us so passionate about handling feedback, and you can feel this the moment you drive any of the Renault performance derivatives we have developed. We’re also proud to be producing the Renaultsport in Dieppe, home of Alpine, and delighted to be using the EDC gearbox in a Renaultsport version for the first time."

Perhaps more importantly, keen drivers will be offered two different chassis settings with the new model - a Sport chassis, which is aimed at providing driving kicks with a dash of everyday comfort, and the harder Cup chassis, which has been designed with trackday fans in mind. There's also a fun button for go-faster drivers to press, called the R. S. Drive, which sharpens up the throttle and gearbox responses when it's pressed.

If that's not enough, there's also an accoustic gadget called R-Sound Effect, which replicates engine noises through the speakers, meaning you can literally make the new Renaultsport Clio sound better than it actually is!

Expect to find the new Renaultsport Clio lining up at a trackday near you from early next year.

Can the Peugeot 208 GTi really be as good as the 205 GTi?

AN Eighties hot hatch icon is back!

Well, sort of, if Peugeot's claims about the new 208 GTi are anything to go by. I was going to spare them the trouble of having their latest souped-up supermini compared with what enthusiasts rank as one of the greatest drivers' cars of all time, but the French firm have compared the new arrival to its iconic ancestor by saying it "regenerates the values of the iconic 205 GTi".

Question is: will it?

Until someone's driven it hard on a bumpy, windy British B-road the jury's out but the signs are good - not only does its 1.6 litre petrol engine deliver a 200bhp punch, but it comes with more rigidity and sportier suspension than the hatchback it's based on, which means on paper at least it's making all the right noises to hot hatch fans (i.e people like me). It's also, at less than 1,200kg, lighter than the car it replaces and equipped

More encouraging still however is the precedent set by models which don't come with those three little letters on the bootlid - if efforts like the 508 are anything to go by, Peugeot is back on form when it comes to making motors that steer and handle properly. In particularly, the agonisingly pretty RCZ coupe I drove two years ago is a cracker to drive - perhaps not as polished as, say, a VW Scirocco, but it's still a car in which you look forward to a tight corner.

Will the GTi stack up to the almost impossibly tall order as being as good as the 205 GTi? Fingers crossed I'll get a go, because I'd love to let you know...

Fire up the... new Suzuki Swift Sport

AT THE bottom of my garden lives a particularly persistent spider.

Each and every morning, without fail, it spins a web right above my back gate, and every other morning I'll forget it's there and get a faceful of silk and flies.

It's annoying, but I wouldn't exactly move house out of arachnid-induced frustration. It was much the same story with the outgoing version of Suzuki's Swift Sport, which had a couple of annoying niggles. In particular, the boot lip's always been a bit too high, which meant lifting bags or suitcases into the back was harder than it should've been. Yet I could forgive it that - and just about everything else - because of the way it went.

The old Swift Sport is still one of the best handling hatchbacks I've ever got my hands on. All of which makes this new version the difficult second album from Suzuki Swift - given how brilliant the original was, surely the larger, lardier replacement can only be a bit worse?

The Swift Sport's not a numbers sort of car but given that's where most of the improvements have been made I'll hit you with some anyway; the 1.6 engine now knocks out 136bhp, making it punchier than its predecessor's, but with carbon emissions now at 147g/km it's cleaner too, and you'll get 44mpg on a good run, 10% more than before. It's also a little larger inside and out, a little quicker and - naturally - a fraction pricer than the old one. It's also something you can't stack up with statistics - to my mind, it's better looking too.

So has it strayed from the winning formula? It's not the reassuring story the minor irritations tell you; that rev-happy engine's still a tiny bit thrashy around town, the interior's still a bit gloomy on longer trips and yes, the boot lip's still too high. It's probably not the best supermini if you're 117 years old, but if you're 17 and value thrills over frills here's the good news.

The new Swift Sport is brilliant.

Because it's a smoother drive the steering doesn't talk to quite as animatedly any more but in every other respect the new one's a belter - if you value handling over grip and power which is better being used on the road than bragged about at the bar, then you'll love the Sport.

It isn't perfect and it's a car of few superlatives, but only because there's no accurate way to measure how much fun it is.

MINI John Cooper Works GP II promises to be a hot hatch hit

POWER. According to the Spiderman movies, having lots of it comes with great responsibility.

So it's a shame then that BMW's being tight-lipped about just how much responsibility the latest hot MINI will need to be entrusted with, because at the time of writing exact horsepower figures for the Cooper Works GP II are a little hard to come by. However, they are promising it'll be at least as hardcore as its illustrious predecessor from 2006, so chances are it'll be rather a lot.

The company proudly claims of its mightiest MINI yet: "Only once has there been anything like it, but even that wasn’t as quick. With the MINI John Cooper Works GP, the British premium brand has come up with another car of exceptional talent designed to deliver extreme performance on both the race track and the road.

"The sportiest road-registered MINI ever made will go on sale later this year in a limited run of 2,000 cars. It is currently completing a programme of testing in preparation for series production, part of which has involved setting an impressive fastest lap of the Nürburgring’s Nordschleife circuit."

So while there's no word on power it will have a limited production run, no back seats at all, beefed-up brakes and suspension and a scrabbly turbo engine based on the one you get in the normal Cooper S.

Oh, and a pricetag expected to be at least £25,000. Chances are though it'll be at least as collectable as the original from six years ago, though!

The Rover 100 that'll give a Porsche Boxster S a run for its money

THERE are a great many new motors on the way later this year. Most of which, a mechanic mate of mine reckons, he can easily outrun. In a Metro.

Yes, you read that right; in a garage out in the flatlands of West Lancashire work is underway on turning what was a knackered Rover 100, the Metro's final fling before poor crash test results killed it off, into a bit of a supercar in minature. I know you're probably smirking now, but I'm looking forward to seeing it as much as I am the new 3-Series or the Toyota GT-86. Because it promises, for less than you'd think, to give ‘em both a bit of a run for their money.

The recipe's a surprisingly simple one; take a Metro, making sure it's one of the later ones, remove the Rover K-Series you'll find under its square-rigged bonnet, and then beef up the brakes and suspension. What you then do is fill the hole you've created with the much meatier VVC powerplant from an MGF or a Lotus Elise, which - because it's still a K-Series engine - will slot in perfectly. All you need to do then is finish it all off by fitting a roll cage and decorating it with a nifty paint job of your choice.

The end result might sound faintly ridiculous but consider this; the finished Metro will offer up somewhere in the region of 180bhp in something that weighs about the same as a packet of crisps. That means the final product will offer up a better power to weight ratio than a Porsche Boxster S, which in turn means it should be seriously quick.

Easily rapid enough, I reckon, to lose the pub bet with said car's owner to find something that'll offer the same sort of punch for anything like the same sort of money. I've honestly racked my brains to find a secondhand performance car bargain that'd outrun the modified Metro, and I can't think of anything.

A secondhand hot hatch wouldn't offer the same sort of pace, while you'd struggle to get a slingshot sports car, like a Caterham, without it costing three or four times what the Metro cost. As much as I'm a bit of a cynic when it comes to modifying cars, I honestly can't think of anything that'd match the muscular Metro. If, however, you can think of one, by all means let me know. Only serious petrolheads need apply!

I look forward to reporting later this year whether a Rover 100 that's more Brands Hatch than hot hatch is as bonkers as it sounds. Watch this space...

The Life On Cars Valentine's Day Spectacular

I HOPE my girlfriend isn't reading. With it being Valentine's Day it's probably appropriate to get it over with. I love my cars.

Or rather, I love a lot things about cars, and motoring, and the people and the culture and the good times I associate with them.

For instance, I love the feeling of the wind in my hair when I'm bumbling along in a small, properly sorted sports car. I love the rumble my MG makes when it first starts up on a cold morning. I love the timeless lines of the Jaguar E-Type, and the perfect proportions of the Austin Healey 100. I love the the ripples in the Peugeot RCZ's roof and the Tardis-like packaging of the Toyota IQ.

I love the fact that Britain's luxury car companies are coming up with their best offerings in years and that - thanks largely to the Chinese market - they can't build them fast enough. I love the feeling of being awestruck and apprehensive in equal measure whenever I'm tackling the Buttertubs Pass in North Yorkshire. I love knowing why Suzuki's Swift Sport is one of the best hot hatches created in the last decade. I love the sublimely quick and precise steering you only seem to get in an original Mini. I also love - for reasons I completely failed to get across in a Champion column last week - old, rugged, off-roaders.

I love, for reasons I've never been entirely sure of, the Triumph Stag. I love the feeling of having a day to yourself and a wonderful set of wheels to drive. I love the winding B-roads of North Wales and the Lake District. I love the way the Saab 9-5 is perfect for the motorway, and I love the way the Lotus Elise emphatically isn't.

I love taking classic cars I probably can't afford to pubs in the West Lancashire countryside, to have rambling conversations with other people who also own classic cars they can't afford. I love going to shows across the north west and telling interested passers-by why I've brought what I've brought. I love telling anally pedantic, wannabe concours judges who come over to point out a bit of bodywork I've missed polishing exactly where to go. I love looking at old cars, finding out about their place in history, and learning more about them.

Most of all, I love writing about them and I love sharing your stories from the world of motoring. Glad to be of service...