Life On Cars is two years old

PERHAPS it was watching the caravan get torn to shreds. Or the moment I managed to max Toyota's IQ on the high speed bowl at Millbrook. Was it watching my MGB GT fire up for the first time? Or discovering that a Peugeot cabriolet is faster between Settle and Carlisle than the Settle to Carlisle Railway is?

It's hard to choose what my favourite moment from viewing the motoring world through the lens that is Life On Cars, which is two years old today, actually is. But what I can say is that it's been an absolute blast, and I'm amazed that a blog that crossed over into print in The Champion almost by accident is still going strong.

Last year I celebrated the first anniversary by launching the inagural issue of the Life On Cars Magazine, and while the new one's still a couple of weeks away, I can reveal that it's a special edition given over entirely to the Ormskirk Motorfest, which revs up on August 28. There's also the small matter of the Woodvale Rally next weekend (August 6 and 7) which as usual will be getting the full Life On Cars treatment, so there's plenty happening to keep petrolheads for miles around entertained.

What I've prepared this year is a sort of Life On Cars in pictures; what you see above are just 50 out of the hundreds of images I've accumulated on my motoring adventures, which show you a snapshot of some of my favourite stories from the past two years.

It really is hard to say which of the many motoring moments in the past two years has been my favourite, but I feel incredibly lucky not only to have experienced them, but also to be able to write about them and share them with people who share my passion for the world of motoring.

I will, for instance, never forget winding along a twisty Welsh road in an MX-5 and discovering the revelation that was its steering and handling (I still want one to this day), or being blasted down the West Lancashire backroads in a brace of E-Types (ditto). Then there's discovering those glorious ribbons of tarmac that remind you why driving is brilliant; Buttertubs Pass, Cat and Fiddle, Great Orme. Nor is it every day you get to dirt race an old Jag. The list goes on.

What started as just as a blog is also bigger that I imagined it ever would be; along with weekly updates in The Champion, a series of six newspapers read by 140,000 people, there's also been the magazines, the radio shows and the regular influx of road tests.

I am a journalist first and a car nut second, but by far and away this is the bit I love writing about most of all, and I'd like to thank everyone who's taken even the mildest interest in Life On Cars for your support. Hopefully you've enjoyed it... and there's plenty more to come.

Here's to another year...

Fire up the... Mercedes SLK250

WE Brits, convertible sales statistics are always suggesting, are a right bunch of optimists.

You know that our collective glass is always half full because we buy more open-top cars than any other nation in Europe; more, in fact, than the French, the Spanish and the Germans put together. This despite our overcast skies, our never-ending showers, our cancelled barbecues and our flash floods. As a nation, we love our convertibles, our cabriolets and - best of all - our two-seater sports cars. Despite knowing they're going to get us soaked.

Mercedes, I've always reckoned, has understood this peculiarly British predicament because it revived the art of the folding metal roof for its original SLK, a car which not only looked great but combined the wind-in-the-hair thrills with the security and comfort of a coupe. As a recipe it was always going to be a hit with British buyers, and since the original's launch in 1996 it's got faster, smoother and handier in the handling stakes.

The third generation of the car, tested by Life On Cars in six-cylinder SLK250 form, has also updated its supercar styling cues; while its predecessor had a hint of SLR Mclaren about it, the new one's made more than a subtle nod to the stunning SLS coupe. I reckon in one of the most style-savvy sectors of the new car market it looks fantastic, managing to come across as fun-loving and free-spirited but hard charging and meaty with it. To my mind, better looking than both the Boxster and BMW's Z4.

But don't be fooled into thinking Merc's offering is going to be some uncomfortable, uncompromising roadster, because once that slick and secure metal roof's up you'd swear you were in a C-Class saloon. Putting its power to the rear wheels through an automatic gearbox - unusual for a open sports car - and blessed with sumptuous leather seats, a delightfully powerful heater to keep you snug even if you're al fresco on the chilliest of winter days, the SLK is as snug as a freshly-knitted jumper.

It handles the corners capably enough but if you're looking for seat-of-the-pants thrills this isn't the roadster for that; you're better off trying either Porsche's Boxster or Lotus' Elise, on offer for similar money, instead. The SLK is instead a sports car that's the sensible choice, because it'll cope better with our British summer.

What's left of it, of course.

As published in The Champion on July 27, 2011.

Porsche to announce new 911

Despite there being plenty of spyshots on the Internet to suggest what Porsche's next 911 will look like, there aren't any official pictures yet.

However, it's not unreasonable to assume the new arrival - codenamed the 991 - will look something like one of the above, or perhaps a bit like all of them.

Most new 911s, let's face it, usually do.

Sorry seems to be the hardest word

A CROSS chap in an RAC lorry has left me revisiting one of the biggest questions in motoring.

He was driving along to somewhere important this morning along the M62 - the very same stretch of motorway I needed to join en-route to IKEA. Because my better half needed a bookcase too big for any of the Life On Cars fleet, I was at the helm of a Ford Transit, and might have got a bit carried away with the whole White Van Man thing.

Put simply, I might have cut him up. Cue an angry flash of the lorry's headlamps.

Still locked into Transit mode, and with the window convenientally open, I immediately wanted to figure out how many fingers I should put up at the driver to make him aware of my discontent. Only I didn't, because a split second later I realised he wasn't being unecessarily uppity. It was in fact me who was driving like a berk. What I should have been doing, in fact, was apologising.

Which brings me to the big question; how? There are, as I'm all too aware, a multitude of hand gestures and angry facial expressions to let someone know they've been a wally* at the wheel. You can also plant your hand on the centre of the steering wheel to voice your disapproval through a patronisingly long parp of the horn, or you can flash your headlights in disgust.

Yet I can't think of any convenient, universally-understood gesture or signal that means "Sorry, my mistake". Giving a wave or a thumbs-up can be easily misunderstood and wind up the motorist you've already angered even more, which means that eating humble pie at the helm of a white Transit - in fact, any vehicle - is next to impossible. So what do you do?

Clearly, the Government and the great and good of the motoring world should get together, thrash it out and work it out, because Britain's motorists need a symbol so they can easily say they're sorry. It wouldn't just cut down on confusion, it'd save accidents and road rage. People would arrive at the office happy and be more productive as a result. It could also be used in other places you can't speak to people you've just peeved off - nightclubs for instance - so clearly it's something which could transform our society if it's successful. Britain needs a new apology gesture, and the campaign should start here.

I think I'm owed a few apologies off other motorists as it is!

*With The Champion being a family publication "wally" is a substitution for a certain other word beginning with 'W' which most wound-up motorists actually use...

Range Rover Evoque: the perfect motor for a mysterious millionaire

I AM, according to a letter which landed in The Champion's postbox the other day, about to be rich beyond my wildest dreams.

Naturally, all I need to do is pass on all my personal and account details to a mysterious man in Hong Kong and no less than $14.7m will be mine. This impending windfall, which is not at all suspicious, puts me in a position to buy the new baby Range Rover - you know, the one that's getting all the glowing reviews at the minute. But is it a proper Land Rover?

That's the big question for the Evoque, the third and smallest take on the luxury off-roader to date, and it seems the jury's still out. The Land Rover traditionalists, over their pint of real ale, will readily point out that it's loosely based on the current Freelander, which is itself loosely based - shock horror - on the Ford Mondeo. They'll also choke on their Hobgoblin when they discover Ranulph Fiennes and Chris Boddington weren't used as design consultants. But Victoria Beckham was.

Annoyingly, I can't be of much help in giving a verdict on the Evoque because I haven't driven it yet, but I can point out one thing. It follows a very proud Land Rover tradition of pissing traditionalists off.

The last spin on the Range Rover theme, 2005's Range Rover Sport, was denounced by the traditionalists for being a footballer's chariot, but within two years it had reputedly become the most profitable vehicle then-owners Ford made. The original Freelander, when that got launched, was written off as being a girly Toyota RAV4 rival with an MGF engine and a tent on the back. Luckily, it also had four-wheel-drive and Hill Descent Control and therefore could hold its own in the rough stuff. My point is that Land Rover, as a company, has been creating niches for itself with the country set for decades.

All of which means a leaner, cleaner, greener Range Rover has got to be a consideration for a new millionaire like myself, because it brings the iconic badge and off-road ability of the original to something that won't wind Greenpeace up. That it looks fantastically sharp, particularly as a three-door, is only going to work in its favour.

I think the Evoque's going to be great, and the good news is that you can buy one too. All you need to do is send a small fee and all your details to that man from Nigeria who's been emailing you...

Fire up the... Saab 9-5

IT'S a company that - despite a proud history of its products proving popular - seems to go from crisis to crisis.

No, it's not News International but Saab, the Swedish car company which only a few weeks ago narrowly avoided closure after it got a huge order from China. An order that'll include the impressive second generation of the 9-5.

This car, a distant cousin of Vauxhall's acclaimed Insignia, is the model which will make or break Saab's future, and if it's going to succeed it's got some very strong competition to see off. Is the 9-5, which starts at a shade over £27,000, good enough to tempt you away from not only the BMW 5-Series, but also a revitalised Jaguar XF and Audi's A6?

The good news is that you shouldn't let its General Motors origins put you off; not only is the Insignia a startingly good base to start off, being an impressive cruiser in its own right, but the 9-5 is sufficiently Saab-ish in its own right.

Thanks to an ergonomically-gifted dashboard all of its own, clever toys like the night function for the instruments and an exterior that's challenging without being ugly, you're in no doubt that the new Saab is light years ahead of its predecessor.

Yet it's successfully carried over the one thing I adored about the old model - the comfort. Even though the model I tried was the 2.8 diesel version, it's near-silent once you get up to speed and the seats, front and back, are among the comfiest I've ever experienced. If you're an executive who regularly gets a numb bum, this is the car for you.

It's just a shame that - at least on the particular car I tested - builld quality wasn't quite up to the standards of its rivals, with a chrome surrounding on one of the rear doors coming loose. I can only hope it's an isolated incident, but even then you'd have to concede the bunker-like BMW 5-Series feels more solid.

The 9-5 might not tick as many of the boxes as its rivals but feels somehow more engaging for it; what it lacks as an all-rounder in makes up for in personality, which this saloon has in spades. If you're in the market for an executive saloon but find the big sellers a bit boring, you won't be disappointed with this leftfield alternative.

We should do our bit to save Saab, because they make good cars.

Bella Maserati!

AS PROMISED, some pictures of a gathering of old Maseratis I managed to gatecrash on my trip to Germany last week.


Proof that - away from the inevitable old Porsches, Mercedes and Volkswagens - there are clearly some Italian GT connoisseurs living just outside Cologne.



In a pub car park just outside the picturesque Schloss Burg castle, near to the city of Solingen, German supercar lovers could clock everything from the gorgeous Ghibli, the mid-engined Merak, the angular Biturbo and a modern Maserarti in the shape of the latest Quattroporte saloon.


I'll take a Ghibl and a Merak SS, please...

Currywurst and cars, but no Clarkson

I'D like to tell you about all the exciting automotive developments in the north west this week, but I can't because I'm in Germany.

Here I have been blasted down the autobahn at speeds which in the UK would be very illegal, I've seen many mouthwatering motors which have clearly had kots of love lavished on them by their owners and - best of all - I managed to gatecrash a gathering of gorgeous old Maseratis earlier today (more on this soon - stay tuned). Germany, clearly, has a lot of petrolheads.

But they don't have my favourite motoring TV show, which is on the airwaves back in Blighty and I'm knowingly missing out on.

Some say that it's never far from controversy, and that it could only ever be presented by three opionated, middle-aged men.

All I know is it's called Top Gear.

Life On Cars writer David Simister is currently overdoing it on the currywurst, but normal, British-based service will resume tomorrow (July 17).

The Scilly but brilliant electric car

IT COULD be the most exciting rental I've never driven. Cornwall, it seems, has cracked the electric car.

I think it's because it's so unbelievably far away that England's most southerly county offers you ways of getting about which border on the weird and wonderful. Sure, you get plenty of the clichéd Volkswagen campervans beloved of the surfing set, but the car of choice for the locals seems to be the Peugeot 205 diesel, which are thrashed to within an inch of their lives tackling BMWs and Audis along the twistier bits of the A30.

You can also - if you're a tourist - take to getting around the county by helicopter, or do what I did and see how long you can withstand seasickness on the Isles of Scilly ferry. It's nicknamed The Great White Stomach Pump, and I now know why.

But what I'm kicking myself for not trying are the hire cars on St Mary's on the Isles of Scilly, because they're not really cars in the conventional sense at all. It's Scilly but it's true; the Isles' equivalent to an Astra from Avis is an electrically-powered golf cart.

Run by enterprising brothers Willie and Michael Pritchard from the village of Porthmellon, The Scilly Cart Company gives anyone on the island the chance to rent out golf carts in a variety of different sizes - and all left hand drive, incidentally - which have escaped the golf courses of North Wales and been modified to make them road legal. On the island of St Mary's, a place with just nine miles of roads, they're everywhere.

I really, really wanted a go. They made the entire island feel like a bizarre cross with a Bond baddie's lair and an episode of The Prisoner, and - because you're never more than a couple of miles outside of town - it's unlikely you're ever going to run out of juice either. By being a little bit bonkers the Isles of Scilly has the first place in the world where an electric car makes complete sense. It's just a shame I had to get back on the ferry before I got a chance to try one.

It's got to be the most hilarious £30 I regret not spending.

Could this eco sports car be the next Toyota MR-2?

TOYOTA'S evoked memories of its old MR-2 sports car with its latest concept car - but the new roadster comes with an eco twist.

The two-seater GRMN - which stands for GAZOO Racing, tuned by MN - might be a petrol-electric hybrid car but in terms of its looks and mid-engined layout it's definitely a machine which hints that Toyota might be mulling over the idea of a new MR-2 sports car.

The concept, introduced to tie in with this year's Nurburgring 24 Hours race, will keep traditional driving enthusiasts happy with a 245bhp V6 driving the rear wheels, but it's also helped by an electric motor providing drive to the front wheels.

The last of the old MR-2 sports cars left the company's UK showrooms in 2007.


Life On Cars writer David Simister is getting wet on a campsite in Cornwall this week, but will be back later this week with more motoring news and reviews.

Pickup trucks aren't a Miami vice

BECAUSE I'M guilty of being a newspaper reporter, it's an idea that lots of people have suggested to me. Let's crack down on antisocial behaviour by banning hoodies from town centres at night.

Before you pick your pen in disgust I'd like to say I disagree with the idea. There is, of course, nothing wrong with people who wear hooded tops, and being young and in a town centre after dark is not in itself illegal. Well, it isn't until Lingering With Malicious Intent becomes a bookable offence. Banning things simply because someone doesn't like them is an idiotic idea.

It's the same with pickup trucks, which apparently the good people of Miami now want to ban from the city at night. Under a proposed reenactment of bonkers bylaws dating back to the Sixties, you'll be fined if you're spotted with an example of an all-American icon between 7pm and 7am. Even if it's parked up on your driveway overnight.

Personally, I've never had much truck with pickups; they are the Transits of the American Bible Belt, only worse because your stuff in the back gets wet whenever it rains. They're also, if you've been brought up to think the Land Rover Discovery is a big car, incredibly excessive and a tad wasteful of the world's resources. Pickups - even the really fast ones with pushrod V8 engines - are stupid.

But I wouldn't ban them, because it's a bylaw that boils down to automotive taste and I don't think it's fair to tell hardworking Dolly Parton fans what they can and can't drive, in exactly the same way you shouldn't outlaw Max Powered hot hatches or the Nissan Micra. I'm sure if the local council got wind of this idea they'd slowly ban everything, and we'd all eventually end up being forced to own hybrid hatchbacks.

Banning certain types of car in order to make suburbia look more respectable is one Miami Vice we could definitely do without. The day some jobsworth from the local authority knocks on my door and tells me I'm in breach of their Local Vehicle Bylaws because I own an old MGB is the day I book my plane ticket out of here (but not to Florida). People should be able to pay road tax on whatever they choose.

Having said that, I've always hated the Kia Pride.